Intimacy Defined: What is it?
Intimacy can be and is usually defined as physical and emotional closeness. When used to describe a relationship between partners, intimacy often refers to sex or sexual energy. However, in this matter, intimacy here is defined as being close to your significant other/others.
Intimacy and sexual energy are very important elements of a healthy romantic relationship, and experiencing issues that hinder them can quickly take a toll on your relationship and both your self-esteem, and your partners'. Issues build up in the relationship when there is a lack of emotional closeness or sexual intimacy, leading to a break down of communication and further distancing in the relationship.
Among the leading issues for avoiding sex for women painful intercourse rates the highest along side not feeling connected to their partner and self esteem issues. For men, it is a common misconception that they want sex whenever they can got it. But the facts are very different for this. Men suffer from erectile disfunction, low testosterone, identity crisis and much more.
The first step toward feeling more comfortable in the bedroom is understanding what could be causing your intimacy issues, and finding ways to communicate our truth with out fear.
Painful Intercourse
Pain with sex isn’t normal. Yet many women suffer painful intercourse because they’re embarrassed to bring it up, and many others simply do their best to avoid having sex.
Any number of common gynecolocial problems can make sex painful. Acute conditions like infections and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) may make intercourse painful.
One of the most common causes of pain with sex is lack of lubrication, particularly in women going through menopause. Menopause triggers hormonal changes that decrease natural vaginal lubrication.
Menopausal women may find that their sex drive drops, and arousal isn’t easy. Lack of arousal combined with vaginal dryness can make sex very painful and create intimacy issues.
Chronic conditions like endometriosis, uterine fibroids, and even abnormally heavy menstrual periods can affect your enjoyment of sex. If you experience pain with sexual intercourse, don’t ignore the symptoms: Make an OB/GYN appointment to find out what’s behind your pain.
Relationship Instability
If there’s no clear physical cause for your intimacy issues, relationship instability may be a contributing factor. A healthy relationship requires trust and communication, and unhealthy relationships can create intimacy issues.
A lack of emotional connection within a relationship can translate to your sexual relationship as well. If you’re having less sex, it can make you feel disconnected from your partner, and therefore less interested in sex.
Other issues that can create intimacy issues include infidelity and stress. Talk therapy can help couples and individuals to work through the emotional side of intimacy problems.
Prioritising Your Intimacy issues
If intimacy issues are taking a toll on your romantic relationship, it’s time to seek help. If you would like to speak to me perhaps I could help you understand what’s causing your intimacy issues. There is no reason to be embarrassed when talking to me about sex and intimacy, in fact, it is very normal. The more we get used to speaking openly about our issues the more we can normalise them, rather than catastrophise them.
You can read more here about Sex and Intimacy, or read more about how our self-esteem is affected.
Come into Counselling
I would like you to get in touch if you feel you will benefit from talking with me. We can talk over the phone to assess your needs and then book you an appointment. It would be my recommendation that you write some notes about what you're going through so we can discover more about your circumstances.
